In the (paraphrased) words of Earth, Wind and Fire:
"Do you remember the 27th night of September?"
I sure don't, but supposedly that was the last time I've blogged so I figured, new year, new blog, why not?
Alas, what does one write about? World of Warcraft addictions? Dull. General life? Dominated by World of Warcraft addictions, therefore dull. New Year? Resolutions? Change? Betterness? Facebook?
One of my strange semi-vanities is the Compare People application on Facebook, you essentially compare one person one your friend list to another randomly selected in a variety of different catagories. The thing then rates you based on your friend list as to how you 'rank' in a variety of different areas. However, it features inherent difficiencies in properly getting rankings as if you don't rank other people, you come up less on other peoples' comparisons and therefore can't achieve more wins and a higher rank.
Why am I so obsessed with it when it is inherently flawed? Simple reason, PERFECTION. Despite the fact I'm only 8th, 15th and 17th in Tech-Savviness, artisticness and 'most useful', in each of those, I have an absolutely perfect, 100% win record. 5/5 people believe that I'm more technologically competant than someone else picked at random from their friend list. Sure, it could be in comparison to a grandma who thinks phones are a tool of Satan, a Hermit living in Inner Mongolia or a child with Downs Syndrome but it still gives me a minor twang of self-worth.
So, if we're to list things that I'm a perfect victory at (according to a meaningless application) they are:
- Tech-Savviness - Vicious lies, simply because one spends most of his time playing computer games, does not mean they know much about how to operate and do complex things WITH a computer
- Artistic - Fact: My Drama Original Solo Production is funnier than 15 episodes of Rove put together, it's also only 7 minutes. Expanded into an hour, it could quite easily fill up a programming line-up from just repeating that same episode weekly. Works for Rove no?
- Useful - I can bake a cake!
- Organized-ness - Total fallacy to anyone who actually knows me, planning to do things in the last minute doth not maketh one organized
Great, clearly they're traits that people perceive me as having. New Year's Resolutions are supposedly all about making positive change, so where better to find out where than in Facebook! THE PERFECT FAILURE(s):
- Confidence - "This year, I resolve to imbibe more Mexican-brewed Liquid Confidence so I am able to be a more confident, well-rounded person."
- More Powerful (therefore, less powerful) - "This year, I resolve to 'Roid up, tear t-shirts apart and buy a hand-gun."
- Talkativeness (or lack-thereof) - See 'Confidence'
- Craziness (or lack-thereof) - NAAAARRC! "This year, I resolve to become a Mexican Pro Wrestler and therefore replace dull-ness with SUPER CRAZY-ness!"
- A Better Smile - I blame parents and lack of Dental Plan and therefore lack of Braces. Fuck that.
Good list to start with, if I do say so myself. Happy New Year to thee all. May your cake not be a lie and may you have OVER 9000(!!!) positive things happen to you in the coming 12 months. /recyclingoldmemes
