The Dark Cash-In

The Dark Knight was truly an epic movie. I mean it had this whole underlying moral conflict, explosions, Aaron "I Believe (I have a mancrush) in Harvey Dent" Eckhart, Heath Ledger giving an awesome final performance as an awesome villain who was actually three-dimensional and intelligent instead of simply being a stupid one-trick pony. What didn't it have? Katie Holmes reprising her role for one. Bet she's choking on her 'conflicting schedule' now!


FUN FACT: Had Katie Holmes not pulled out of The Dark Knight, that would have been the second film in which she'd be having a relationship with Aaron Eckhart, the first being Thank You For Smoking (brilliant film, definately worth watching whether you're a fan of the awesomeness that is Aaron Eckhart or you can't get enough of Katie Holmes and her usual mediocre performances!)


Infact, the movie was so epic that it "inspired" a Dark Whopper . How does a film essentially about legitimate vs. illegitimate justice and what not manage to inspire a burger? Quote random news source: "Burger King says that the Dark Whopper burger is made with ingredients that 'reflect the dark side of Batman'".

Considering how dubious and dark the composition of a Whopper already is (mystery cardboard 'beef' and 'secret sauce'), how much darker can it get? I can just imagine what went on in the brainstorming session for this.

Burger King PR Guy #1: Right, so we've got this biiig movie cash-in with the Dark Knight, what can we do? Ideas people!

Burger King PR Guy #2: Um... lets make a Whopper, but call it a DARK WHOPPER, they'll flock to it.

PR Guy #1: Great idea Mephistopheles, you're totally getting 67% more orphan souls in your pay packet this week! Now, what can we do to make it a Dark Whopper?

PR Guy #3: How about we go down to local pounds, adopt all the homeless puppies then make the patties out of them?

PR Guy #1: That's pretty good but I think it needs a bit more than that.

PR Guy #2: Okay, here's a CRAZEH idea, don't like ridicule me for this... how about... we add in some Sheep Placentas?

(Fun fact: I opened the pantry the other day and found a bottle of that stuff in there, needless to say I was horrified and disturbed)

PR Guy #1: Great job Meph! Keep it up and you may get a meeting with our CEO Lucy Fur pretty soon!

Anyone had the gall to actually consume one of these and survive to tell the tale? Feel free to leave a comment and let me actually know what the hell it is.

On the topic of fast food, I realized that I ended up like missing all of the special 'McContinent' burgers they were realising prior to the Olympic games. I mean yes, there's a McAustralia now and they've re-released the McAmerica Bagel but why would I want one of them? I mean really, the best stuff would be the other 3 non-dull continents:

The McEurope: Beef Carpaccio served with truffle-infused foie gras and balsamic vinegar perhaps? Maybe even an Art House French Film in the Le Fappy Meal and a 'toy'

The McAsia: Whale meat, Sweet and Sour Pork and Satay sauce. Served with Bubble Tea, prawn crackers on the side and Arts Degree napkins (I'm Asian, I know these things). And of course, last but definately not least;

The McAfrica: Zimbabwean-made Soylent Green patty drizzled with a Blood Diamond jus, garnished with Egyptian Hieroglyph Fries

Man I must have missed out...